Cheerful and Tear-filled Lunch Revelation

I had the pleasure of eating lunch with my friend Angie today. It was technically a spiritual interview, but it was like eating with a life-long relative. Through this conversation, Angie helped me better understand that I'm not defined by my skill as a singer- I am a child of God. It is my identity in Christ that defines who I am, not the gifts He's given.


I loved being on the stage and I was very good at it. I landed many lead roles, collected awards, and even ventured to [the University of North] Texas in pursuit of a career in opera. Throughout high school, my classmates knew me as the girl who sings and does theater. The photo above is from our high school production of Kiss Me, Kate. I won an award for best leading actress out of 60+ area DC schools for my role as Kathryn (Kate). My favorite part of this photo is that I'm slapping my friend Michael who happened to be one of the earliest Christian influences in my life. His family showed me Christ in their actions before I knew who Jesus was. This was one of my final roles before retiring from musical theater and focusing on opera. Thankfully, God took me to Texas for more than just vocal training; He removed me from my small pond so I could really see the life He has in store for me.

I quickly realized that I wanted more than to be known as a talented person -

I want to be known for my contribution to others' lives.

I changed my major then changed my zip code back to Virginia to complete a degree in Communication. Fast forward to today - living in Lynchburg, very few people know that I'm a good singer, and I like it that way. I think our culture tends to place musicians, especially singers, on very high top-heavy pedestals that will fall over. I love being on stage and performing, but I don't like the stigma that is attached to talented people, that they are full of themselves or are only performing to gain attention for the wrong reasons. It's ludicrous to assign all performers the same identity because of the talents they posses. I enjoy performing because I love to sing, dance, and act! I feel comfortable on stage because its a way of expressing myself and a way to show people who I am as an individual.

I did not seek to become a professional singer and I am very thankful for my choice. I am loving my current position as a manager because I am able to pour into others' lives. It puts a pep in my step to be able to take care of others and help them be better at what they do for our organization. Sure I may whistle a tune while I work, but I don't sing while sitting at my desk- I save it for the stage (or my car).

Another de-Facebooking process

I have cut my friends in half. I have gone from nearly 1,300 "friends" to a little over 600. Many of the folks that didn't make the cut were people who were friends of the time, not friends for all time. (geographic relationships that didn't develop after being removed from the environment like former co-workers, fellow high school grads who would likely not recognize me now if we bumped into each other on the street, etc.)

I want Facebook to be more than a boredom tool to click through everyone's wedding and baby photos. I want it to become a networking tool that I am able to go to, not something I must go to.

We'll see if I can get it down to 300-400 :)

I love my husband :)

By the way, I love my husband :) I think this is my favorite photo of us. Just look at the way he is looking at me and the way he is gently and firmly holding my hand and back! It doesn't get any better than that.

God, thank you for blessing me with a man I do not deserve.

"How to hire.." : Interview Questions

After showing this post about How to hire and How to get hired to some co-workers, they've suggested other great interview questions:

Additional Interview Questions

• What is your greatest strength/weakness?
• What do you do to relieve stress?
• How do you measure success?
• Tell me about a mistake you have made and what you learned from it?
• What motivates you?
• What qualities do you look for in management staff?
• Do you have any blind spots? (this question threw me for a loop when I interviewed for my current position.)
• Tell me about your dream job.
• What kind of person would you refuse to work with?
• Have you ever had to fire someone? How did it make you feel?
• What is your biggest professional disappointment?

Reminder For Applicants

Never underestimate the power of a hand-written thank you note. I recently heard from interviewers about an applicant writing a thank you note. They were very impressed at that individual's professionalism!

Five day Facebook Fast

Rather than fasting meals, I am choosing to fast Facebook for 5 days. Fasting can be a powerful way to surrender to God. For the next five days, rather than trying to connect with over 1,000 Facebook profiles, I will intentionally be connecting with God and learning more about Him.

This morning while I was still waking up, I opened my computer, checked my email, paid the power bill, then typed "facebook.c.." and realized what I was doing. I think this fast will be more challenging than I thought. The most challenging experiences tend to be the most rewarding.

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DAY ONE
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First day of no Facebook and it's been great! I think that God is challenging me to connect with people in the Lynchburg area instead of trying to maintain close connections to those in Northern VA and Texas.

Tonight I had the chance to be with my husband's students. He is a Marching Band Tech (like a coach) for the drumline. The entire marching band went to a putt putt place and it was wonderful getting to know current students and hear their stories. God allowed me to connect to a group on a deeper level than I had before.

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DAY TWO
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More professional development occuring.. wow God. There's no time for Facebook today!

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DAY THREE
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Without divulging details, today was another opportunity to connect, this time on a managerial level. I inherited a stressful situation at work that has been brewing for a number of years. I was given the responsibility of speaking with those involved and coming up with a solution. Even though conflict is not necessarily fun, getting to know my employees better is something I am very thankful for. Thanks for more connections, God!

When I came home, I found myself wanting to relax and go on Facebook to just look at pictures or maybe poke a friend or two. It was hard to resist, but I did and I am thankful for it! Facebook is a habit I am looking forward to breaking.

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DAY FOUR
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Today was no exception. I was able to move to the next level of the previous work-related situation. On a happy note, I had a wonderful evening with Jonathan :)

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DAY FIVE
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Okay, I kind of cheated today.. I logged on with the intention of, "well, I need to see what time I posted my '5 day' status update so I can know when the 5 days are up.." I logged on with the anticipating of my notifications being in the triple digits! I was quickly disappointed to see that I had 6 updates. Six! 2 people wrote on my wall, 2 people commented on a photo I commented on, and 2 people "liked" my status. God already humbled me with a broken nail, but this exceeds my cosmetic conundrum of what color to paint my fingernails.

Alas, the fast has commenced. Although I don't feel I was missed by my Facebook universe, I feel so much more connected to my city. I moved here with one friend: my husband. In two years, I have formed many relationships, but I always tried to hang onto my relationships back home without fully investing in the ones right in front of me. This fast has helped me socially, professionally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Lynchburg is a gigantic transitioning mason jar for 20 somethings. I suppose most college towns suffer the same fate. The friends I grow closest too often relocate within a year and I start the process over again with another journeyer. I'm growing out of my habit of connecting with work-based relationships and investing more into my church body. Because I work at a University, most employees my age do not stay in town for long. However, the friends of my local congregation have roots here so they are often in it for the long haul.

So here's to friends that are three dimensional!

Graduation Post (mentally back-dated to May..)

(Orginially posted on May 20th on my other blog devoted to photos)


I'm a Master. That's right! I'm a Master of Science!... in Management. I actually hate Science so it's rather comical that I am now a Master of it in the ways of Management. Jonathan finished up his Bachelor's of Science in Business - yay!

I completed my degree with Liberty University entirely online and I am so glad I kept pushing through. I was a full-time workin' newlywed with a thirst for an education. Now that I'm done, it's rather strange not being in school. I don't know what to do with myself. I even started reading for fun. How weird is that!

This year's commencement was even more special because I am a Registrar for Liberty. My office plans and puts together Commencement. It's like a really big wedding with no gifts. This year's speaker was Glenn Beck. Love him or hate him, he's a great speaker.

How to Hire and How to Get Hired

In the span of merely six months, I went from looking for a job via submitting 15 applications in one day to hiring my office assistant via going through 190 applications; from waiting by my phone for the slightest glimmer of a response to feeling helpless to respond to each application. I have experienced both sides of the sword and these are the tidbits of wisdom I have for you all to ponder.

For Employers

Looking for the best ways to widdle down your large pile of applicants? Try the following:

For a quick look that should take about 15 seconds:

• Any words or names that are misspelled.
• ALL CAPS or no capitalization at all.
• No punctuation
• A notation of “references available upon request” rather than listing references. (This is a personal peeve of mine. All applicants should place at least one reference number on an application or resume. If there is no reference, that says to me that they do not want their previous experience to be considered.)

For a deeper look that can take about 30 seconds:

• Less than one year spent at two or more jobs.
• Any disrespectful responses to why the individual left their previous jobs. For example “manager was not a good leader”. This is both not a complete sentence and is also not a good reason for why the individual left the position.
• No previous experience in the field.
• No previous education in the field.
  
  (NOTE: When you know the applicant is not suited for the job, take the time to thank them for applying and that you have decided to go with another applicant. It’s easy to create a template email to use for such situations. You can also BCC and send a mass email to many applicants simultaneously to help reduce time spent. No matter what you do, always respond to an applicant. The applicant wants to leave a positive impression and so do you.)

After spending up to 30 seconds on each application, you should have at least half of your work complete. At this point, narrowing the selection to the final 10-20 depends on the job you are trying to fill. This selection process can be done through an assessment, survey, an HR-driven point system of the applicant, etc.

Now that you have your final group, you are ready to start learning more about the individuals beyond their standard 8.5” x 11” form.

Use Social Media.

• I fully believe in utilizing social media to learn more about a future employee. Many times, you can learn more about a person by what they post in a global forum than what they place on a resume they think you will not read.
• As a hiring manager, a vast majority of my applicants are in their 20s and 30s. Of all applicants I have researched, 100% of them have Facebook profiles. Even if your applicant pool ranges from age 20-80, you will be surprised at how many applicants you can find. The fastest growing population of Facebook users are in their 30s-40s.
• Another great social networking tool is called LinkedIn (available at http://www.linkedin.com/) LinkedIn has proven to be an interesting concoction of Facebook and a professional resume. It allows other members to provide recommendations and networking opportunities.

Go beyond basics.

• During the interview process, try questions like, “What book are you reading now?” “What is a goal of yours?” “What is something you are working on right now?”.
• Open ended questions give you a better view of the applicant's professionalism and their personality. It also gives a nice change of pace in an otherwise stressful situation.

For Future Employees

If you have not read the previous tips, please do. Don't be misled in assuming employers are not already doing things like checking your Facebook or calling references. Most employers do read resumes, employers do contact references and employers do utilize social media to research applicants.

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.

• I cannot emphasize enough the importance of attire. It's not shallow to judge professionalism on appearance – it is necessary in order to create a positive first impression.
• Don't let finances keep you from looking professional. You will be surprised at the amount of new and barely worn professional clothing one can find in a thrift store. A majority of my wardrobe was purchased for under $10 a piece, yet I'm able to wear name brand apparel.

Give the hiring manager an email OR a personal visit, not both.

• One visit is all it takes to associate a name with initiative. If you repeatedly visit the hiring manager, initiative can seem like desperation.
• If you know of others already in the organization, you can ask them to verbally mention your name and how wonderful you are. However, don't have them continuously bring up your name and don't ask them every day about the selection process. Your name may be memorable, but for the wrong reasons.

Be respectful of your previous employers.

• The biggest turn-off for an employer is disrespect. If you’re thinking of a very funny joke at the expense of your previous employer, save it to tell your friends after the interview.
• If you are working in the same industry as your previous job, your future employer likely is already familiar with the nature of your previous employer.

On a personal note, I had an interview where I was specifically asked about my previous employment. I knew they knew about the nature of my previous job and I chose to stay neutral and be thankful for the experience. I was able to say that the experience I acquired allowed me to be an ideal candidate for this new job, which was very true. This helped me stand out among the other applicants and ultimately helped me snag the job.

Your interview starts as soon as you leave your car.

• Be very nice to the administrative assistant. They aren’t just the person calling the hiring manager to say you are here – they are watching you. They are watching to see how you interact with others, how polite you may be, how nervous you may be, and how disrespectful you may be.
• Hold doors for those behind you. You may be opening the door for your interviewer. (Or their boss.)

Be early.

• If you’re early, you’re on time. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re late, you should have called 20 minutes before your scheduled interview time to say you’d be late, then quickly apologize in the beginning of the interview without telling a 10 minute story about how horrible the commute was. (If you hated the commute, that may be all the reason the manager needs to not hire you!)

Thank the manager.

• A thank you goes a long way. Before (or after) the interview, ask the administrative assistant for a business card so you can have the hiring manager’s name and business address. Send a (neatly) hand-written thank-you for their consideration and the opportunity to interview for the position. Try to send it on the same day so it will arrive sooner.
• Do not fold your resume 5 times to fit inside of the card. They already have it; they don't need another one.
  

So what tidbits have you learned on your professional journey?

Anniversary :)

We celebrated our 2 year anniversary on June 28th :) We celebrated our honeymoon by going up to Amish country!! That's right. Ain't no party like an Amish party 'cus an Amish party has wonderfully baked pretzels and home made root beer. We stayed in the Ellemaker house, seen above, which is owned by Auntie Anne of pretzel fame. How amazing. If you know me, you know I love pretzels. If you really know me, you know I have German heritage which requires I love pretzels. Soo good!

Disneeeeey

My husband and I had the distinct pleasure of celebrating with David and Dawn Mills on their 30th wedding anniversary. They have been a huge blessing in our lives and a wonderful model of a loving Christian marriage.

To celebrate, they invited 11 of their family members to a weekend celebration in Disneyworld! Their generousity was more brilliant than the sunny dispositions of the Disneyworld "cast members" (staff). Our group of 13 ranged from age 7 to 75. Magic Kingdom was the perfect destination for our gaggle of celebrators. There are rides that can accomodate many passengers of varied abilities, mostly boat rides. (Many choruses of "I'M ON A BOAT!" were sung throughout the day..)

What was my favorite part you ask? Dinner. We celebrated the Mills' with an anniversary dinner at the Floridian (that looks a lot like the Hotel Del Cornado in San Diego..). We surprised them with a cake and picked up their tab - it was the least we could do to show our love and respect. Jonathan and I sat across from David Sr. and Phil, Jon's grandparents. It was wonderful to chat with them. This was only the third time we've met them, the first being at our wedding and the second being at Jennifer and David B.'s wedding the year prior (Jon's older sister and her new husband). They now live in FL and are very active in serving through their church. It was really fun to chat, joke, and learn.

A highlight for me was the book I was reading : The Shack. I HIGHLY recommend this book to anyone who can read. Seriously, it's that good! While on the plane to Orlando, the wonderfully bubbly and welcoming flight attendant commented on the book. I could immediately tell from the aura and love emminating from her that she was a believer. I wrote her a note describing what an encouragement she was to me and how beautifully she allowed God to shine through her. I gave the note to another flight attendant to deliver. Later, I saw her walk off of the plane later with tears in her eyes - she was so touched. I approached her, we hugged, giggled, and exhanged "God bless you"'s. This book has changed my view of God for the better - it's a relationship, not rule keeping. God has used the book to give me the encouragement to encourage others.

Disney may be the happiest place on Earth, but my joy is heaven sent and heaven bound :)

From a 6 to a 10!

"I'm not fat.. I'm festively plump"

I come from a "thicker" family. My family members of German Norweigen descent are either over 6' or under 5'. Our hearty European ancestors really knew how to eat and drink and be merry. Myself on the other hand, I've always been the odd one out; I'm 5'4" and usually average size by European American standards. I've still battled with weight, but it was due to my self image issues rather than genetic makeup. 2 years ago for my wedding, my mother and I both got into the best shape of our lives. After the vows, we scurried off to our Honeymoon to eat the food I swore off for 6 months. But alas, marriage is infamous for bringing on the pounds and I don't like to disapoint the status quo in such matters.

So, 2 years later, my mom is still in excellent shape and I have gone from a size 6 to a 10. At first I was really upset about my weight gain, but after a few revelations, I've come to terms that it's not my body I'm upset with, it's my clothes. I love shopping and hate throwing things away. I adore dresses and dressing nicely. All of my favorite outfits no longer fit me due to my increased girth. As soon as I put on clothes that fit my curves, I love my shape. After a few yard sales and proper under garnments, I am more comfortable with my body than I was before my wedding day.

So now, here I sit on my couch watching Dancing with the Stars (Go Neicy Nash!) and eating popcorn, remembering that it's not the number on the scale or even the number on the dress; it's the way it makes you feel. I smile to remember that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14/16 by today's standards (look at Some Like It Hot; baby's got some major back). Most of Hollywood is under a size 6, eating their egg white omlettes and splurging on Diet Cokes. I'll take my medium rare steak with garlic mash potatoes for the win :)